Monday, November 27, 2006

some more ideas about sexytime!

we forgot, there are two guys who would really love to make sexytime with Kathy...
Bill Beggs and Andy Walker! HAPPY TIMES FOR ALL!

Underoccupied Minds in Bloomington

This blog is written by and on behalf of Indiana University students in Bloomington, Indiana.

We find it to be unsportsmanlike that a few discontented middle-aged people who live in neighborhoods filled with Indiana University college students feel that it is their duty to do everything in their power to ban college students from their neighborhoods. We think overoccupancy lawsuits are BULLSHIT! We think HAND is evil! We enjoy doing keg stands on the sidewalks in our neighborhoods. We enjoy drinking and talking on our porches. We enjoy after hours parties that last until after Kathy Gutowsky wakes up in the morning. We enjoy sharing shared driveways. This is what Bloomington is all about, after all IU wasn't rated the top party school in U S of A for nothing!

Seriously, we are appalled at the experience that some of our friends had to go through because of their neighbor Kathy Gutowsky. We totally disagree with her comments regarding Seth Patinkin; in fact we believe that Seth is one of the most rocking landlords in Bloomington. Seth was named by Indiana University as one its top alumni under the age of 30. Not to mention he did his PhD in math at Princeton with John Nash! Not to mention he could buy the entire City of Bloomington if he wanted to.

We have a few ideas about how to permanently resolve the differences between these discontented people and the wonderful students of Bloomington who enjoy living off campus.

1. We propose that those residents of Bloomington, Indiana, who do not enjoy living near Indiana University students move outside of the area defined by

College Avenue on the West
First Street on the South
High Street on the East
17th Street on the North

The area bounded by these streets shall be known as the Safe Zone.

2. We propose that an all-student council be created, consisting of elected student residents
of the Safe Zone. This council will participate in the meetings of CONA, the Council of Neighborhood Associations, and it will solicit funding from Indiana University and from successful alumni of Indiana University such as Seth Patinkin and Jared Fogel.

3. We propose that Kathy Gutowsky get laid. We have several volunteers waiting in line, including Kevin Bowlen and Matt Murphy. Unfortunately, none of our friends want to make sexytime with Kathy Gutowsky.

Happy times to all!

GOOD BYE!

ps - we are actually serious, we would like to get feedback from students who live in the Safe Zone about this idea.